Third Anniversary Blues

So OF turned three today. Posted a bit about it here. Amazing how far things have come in the time since then. Sadly, all things must change when they don't just end. After writing the post and reading some of the comments, I guess I better clarify a bit what I was trying to say there.

Almost since the very beginning, whether it was by design or accident, I somehow ended up being the de facto "leader" of OF. I was the annoying pest who begged for new features and cajoled others into discussing books or recommending excellent obscure works for others. It was a give-and-take situation and for a while, things flourished.

Then things expanded and I just found myself having to spend more and more time doing the not-so-fun work just to keep up a semblence of continual expansion of features and discussion. Something finally had to give and I really believe part of my recent health problems (the hypertension) is due to the stress I was under to oversee all aspects of OF during the few hours off from my two paying jobs.

When I took a couple weeks off to just rest from the tedium of searching the websites for news, articles, and other various "serious" stuff, I realized that I just didn't want to go back to doing all that. Even though I enjoyed interacting with people, I just was becoming more and more frustrated by the thought that too many were just content to sit back and let others, such as myself and Jake, do virtually all the work. I hated that feeling. No, resented would be a better word for that emotion. So I've struggled the past few days trying to decide what my future was going to be.

Since I'm heading back to school next year, at first part-time to renew my TN teaching license and later to earn a MS in Social Work/Counseling, it became crystal clear to me: just withdraw to the shadows. Oh, I'm not leaving completely or anything, but after I complete a few committments I've already made for November, I just plan on doing only a minimal supervisory role at OF. I'll probably just restrict myself to writing more regular Blog entries and maybe the occasional post, but I doubt I'll want to lead any more Book Club discussions or do the other minutiae.

Although I already aluded to this in the linked post, I realized afterwards that a more appropriate place for discussing this would be here rather than in a thread that ostensibly should be devoted to celebrating OF's past, present, and possible future. Sorry that I might have ruined the celebratory impulse there, but c'est la vie, yes?

And for those are reading this, again I just want to say thanks for opportunities I've had to get to know you all better, whether it be OF regulars, other wotmania members, or those reading this blog who know me from other sites. I really have appreciated the exchanges and have learned a lot in the process. Hopefully, the future will continue to bring more interaction and a greater understanding. So again, thanks for all the fish.