"Seen me?"
"In a dream...Smell the wind."
"Smell, the wind?"
"Child, smell it. It comes, can you not tell?"
"It?" (p. 13)
Nice to learn that there is a wind called Smell. Also pleasing to note that this "child" is to smell, it, Smell, the wind. It comes, can you not tell?
This may be, as a female friend of mine once put it, something that makes Terry Goodkind look like a literary genius. How many of you are now eagerly awaiting the review of this Stanek novel?
On the edge of my chair waiting for this review.
ReplyDeleteThink I should quote copiously here? ;)
ReplyDeleteHe's not the worst. Try this book: http://www.amazon.com/Patokafus-Trilogy-Book-Goldstone-Bk/dp/1434373754
ReplyDeleteThe author's father once tried to force someone I knew to remove unkind words about the author's work using a Hotmail address and a fake DMCA notice. The father also threatened to sue. And that's not the only time that's happened. The author also does a lot of the stuff Stanek does, but has even less credibility to do so. Stanek sucks, sure, but his writing is at least occasionally coherent. The Patokafus guy...not so much.
You can preview the book on Amazon (if you dare).
Are you daring me to buy a used copy of this book for review? :(
ReplyDeleteYes, quote copiously! :D
ReplyDeleteHrmm...That other book is presumably by a 13 year-old girl. Don't know if I'd take as much pleasure from tearing that one apart as I would an adult's shitty work :(
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, there shall be copious quotage!
Ha. I can't wait.
ReplyDeleteHmm, can we really compare "her" to Stanek though? It seems entirely unfair, pitting a thirteen year old girl's work against someone as masterful as Stanek. Besides, she is self published and I heard somewhere that someone managed to dupe a foreign house into publishing Stanek, which makes him worse be default.
ReplyDeleteYou heard it from me, and it's not just one country. He's been published at least in four others. So, he has, like, credentials and shit now...
ReplyDeleteLarry, please quote for me the part about the stone face. I do not even remember what it was about, just that it was wildly hilarious.
http://rolandscodex.blogspot.com/
The fuck?
ReplyDeleteI'm always confused / distressed when I see something I could have written. That just shouldn't happen.
On the other hand, if you're looking to punish yourself, perhaps I can interest you in The Fate of Thorik?
Funny you should be doing this. Coming back from the Balkans, I almost ordered a used copy with my little Amazon Associates revenues.
ReplyDeleteDecided against it, in the end. Maybe I should reconsider...
Eagerly awaiting your review to see if Robert Stanek shat directly into your soul! :P
Patrick, we both know a good Stanek soul shitting is umm...good for our souls? Do it! It could become a meme for all I know, the quoting of Stanekverse as if it were The Rocky Horror Picture Show :P
ReplyDeleteJoe,
I'm taking a break from reading that sort of anti-literature after this. I'm about to resume full-time work in the near future (working 40 hours this week in training), so I won't have the requisite time for reading such parvenu literature ;)
A actually pity that 13 year old girl. Her father is not doing her a favour. What she needs is a good crit group aimed at younger writers where she could get help to improve her craft, not parents who try to keep reality out.
ReplyDeleteBut I would like to see a Twlight review. :)
Until Pat, James, Aidan, and let's say Paul Smith do reviews of Twilight, I'm not going to read/review it. Simple as that :P
ReplyDeleteim quite sure this review's gonna be a masterpiece, larry.
ReplyDeletedamn, robert stanek is STILL at it? anything to make a quick buck off his shitsauce books of his.
Just so you know, I will not be reading Twilight. Ever.
ReplyDeleteTwilight is quite decent btw, in a modest misogynist way. Not nearly the worst vampire story you could find. Also, sparkling daylight vampires - not nearly as kitsch in written form. It even makes a kind of poetic sense.
ReplyDeletehttp://rolandscodex.blogspot.com/
For the record, I'd rather be sodomized than read Twilight...
ReplyDeleteAin't going to happen, both the butt-slamming and the reading of the Twilight saga...
OK, would you review yaoi then, Pat? :P
ReplyDeleteNearing the halfway mark now. Just read the multi-page description of a character falling off a horse. Oh, this is gold!
ReplyDeleteDon't be juvenile, guys :p Everybody who wishes to be up to date with modern pop-culture has to have read Twilight. It takes only an evening :p
ReplyDeletehttp://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/
Twilight is not terrible! It's cute. Sure it's silly, but the writing is not worse than Laurell K. Hamilton in later books.
ReplyDeleteStill not reading it. There are better female authors to read than Meyer or Hamilton. Charlotte Gilman's works are one. Le Guin is another. Plus I need to read Tiptree sometime.
ReplyDeleteLarry: Yes, I was daring you to buy a used copy of that book, or try to find the full text online to save yourself cash. Most of it is available to read here: http://books.google.com/books?id=fvlmnhC98qcC&printsec=frontcover&dq=patokafus&hl=en&ei=6GVtTMSEKoOC8gaR6LyuCw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCUQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false
ReplyDeleteThere are a couple chapters missing, but I don't think it really matters.
So, yes, I'm daring you to read it and tell us what you think.