The OF Blog: If I really wanted to garner more hits for this blog, this is what I'd do

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

If I really wanted to garner more hits for this blog, this is what I'd do

Feeling pedantically frisky this lunch break, so I thought I'd write some tips for those attention who...err, bloggers seeking more visibility for their blogs.  Can't guarantee 100% satisfaction, but most of these will work to some point:

1.  Post "controversial" thoughts and refer to others by name.  This especially works when discussing Canadians who seem to think redheads don't get any action.

2.  Do a spoof of another's post.  You know, something like threatening to host a giveaway contest for Robert Stanek or Terry Goodkind's latest dreck.  Then mention it on Twitter, Facebook, and every blog on your blogroll and/or RSS reader.

3.  Post pictures of vicious creatures.  The third-most popular post of 2010 at this blog was me blogging about "What the Birthday Squirrel Bought for Me in 2010."

4.  Make fun of the English and/or Canadians and/or Yankees and/or Australians.  Southern pride takes one far, ya know.

5.  Post a random list of books, then pretend such a list is important to you.  Bonus points if said list contains any references to Lawrence Welk.

6.  When you aren't feeling "inspired" anymore, just repeat #1 or #2.  Write a review of a cookbook and dither on whether or not it deserves a 7.5 or 7.75.

7.  Or you could just actually write something that's well-written and argued, rather than getting in a huff and claiming you are "writing from a fan's perspective and not the critic's" when someone notes that s/he does not often read your posts because they are shallower than the kiddie pool.

So...hop to it, you insecure cretins who wish you had a team of rabid reading squirrels!


redhead said...


maybe I should try this on my blog. . . .

James said...

All of those options you listed work, for the most part. That last option is hit or miss though. I mean, isn't the current standard for blogs set at shallow content?

Or... crap...

Did I miss the memo again? I wonder if they have the right address, because this seems to happen quite often. If we are supposed to be posting well-written, well-argued, and moderately interesting content, then no one bothered to tell me. Now I've got to step up and actually put effort into my blog? Fuck's sake...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Get 'em, Larry!
I do occasional movie reviews and now everyone comes to me for an opinion on the latest release. I have to remind them I'm just a dude with a movie fetish and a NetFlix subscription!
Oh, and I found posting photos of Kate Beckinsale draws blog hits as well.

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