It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but wise little Snooki was not going to do THAT in a hurry. 'No, I'll look first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "roofi" or not;' for she had read several nice little histories about guidettes who had got herpes simplex, and spend summers away from the Shore, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a guido with sores should not be kissed; and that if you wasted your time with a normal job, you would not spend summer upon the shore; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked 'roofi,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.
However, this bottle was NOT marked 'roofi,' so Snooki ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavour of pickles, chicken cutlets, fried calamari, ham, pizza, and fine pasta,) she very soon finished it off.
I usually don't bother with literary mash-ups, but when it's SNOOKI from The Jersey Shore, then I'm willing to make an exception, especially since Snooki in Wonderland: The Improved Classic is $0.99 on Amazon's Kindle Store.
If you ask nicely, I might quote more later.