The OF Blog: I'm stressed, possibly depressed, and my reading/reviewing has suffered

Friday, June 14, 2013

I'm stressed, possibly depressed, and my reading/reviewing has suffered

I am going to try to keep this short and relatively vague:  I haven't felt so much stress while working a job since I was taking prescribed medication that unfortunately caused one of those rare but severe adverse reactions of becoming extremely aggressive and hyper-alert.  I am currently working an extremely demanding job that I must keep during the summer break and it involves a lot of times where self-restraint has to be strong, lest I give in to the temptation of responding violently to being kicked, slapped, scratched, pinched, or spit upon by the residents for whom I provide services.  In comparison, reading fictions means less and less:  their struggles feel less vital, almost pointless to read.

So I've been reading less and less and enjoying even fewer activities.  Last weekend's trip to Vicksburg, Mississippi (which I chronicled here) was a very welcome break.  Knowing that I'm taking a couple of days off in mid-July and then might be able to leave the job at the beginning of August when the school year begins at times provides the only grips for my sanity after some spells.  So while I had planned on reviewing a lot of books this month in order to compensate for fewer posts during the spring due to working two jobs, it looks like I'll be writing only a few posts here and there when energy permits it.  But maybe I'll be stronger for this; I know I'm doing better than I did several years ago during the last spell of stress-and-medication-induced depression.

Now if only I could see more frolicking squirrels.  Those creatures make me think very happy thoughts.

2 comments:

tim said...

Good luck, Larry. I hope it gets better. I'm working in a high needs school in New Orleans right now, and coming to the unfortunate conclusion that I am not emotionally strong enough to continue to do it, so I completely understand what you are deal with.

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