The OF Blog: Squirrels
Showing posts with label Squirrels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Squirrels. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

A most heartwrenching letter, composed by Benjamin Franklin

Here is what Benjamin Franklin wrote in 1772 to Georgianna Shipley (pp. 139-141 in Autobiography, Poor Richard, and Later Writings, Library of America #39B):

Dear Miss,

I lament with you most sincerely the unfortunate End of poor Mungo.  Few Squirrels were better accomplish'd; for he had had a good Education, had travell'd far, and seen much of the World.  As he had the Honour of being for his Virtues your Favourite, he should not go like common Skuggs without an Elegy or an Epitaph.  Let us give him one in the monumental Stile and Measure, which being neither Prose nor Verse, is perhaps the properest for Grief; since to use common Language would look as if we were not affected, and to make Rhimes would seem Trifling in Sorrow.

Alas!  poor Mungo!
Happy wert thou, hadst thou known
Thy own Felicity!
Remote from the fierce Bald-Eagle,
Tyrant of thy native Woods,
Thou hadst nought to fear from his piercing Talons;
Nor from the murdering Gun
Of the thoughtless Sportsman.
Safe in thy wired Castle,
Grimalkin never could annoy thee.
Daily wert thou fed with the choicest Viands
By the fair Hand
Of an indulgent Mistress.
But, discontented, thou wouldst have more Freedom.
Too soon, alas!  didst thou obtain it,
And, wandering,
Fell by the merciless Fangs,
Of wanton, cruel Ranger.
Learn hence, ye who blindly wish more Liberty,
Whether Subjects, Sons, Squirrels or Daughters,
That apparent Restraint may be real Protection
Yielding Peace, Plenty, and Security.

You see how much more decent and proper this broken Stile, interrupted as it were with Sighs, is for the Occasion, than if one were to say, by way of Epitaph,

Here Skugg
Lies snug
As a Bug
In a Rug.

And yet perhaps there are People in the World of so little Feeling as to think, that would be a good-enough Epitaph for our poor Mungo!

If you wish it, I shall procure another to succeed him.  But perhaps you will now chuse some other Amusement.  Remember me respectfully to all the [  ] good Family; and believe me ever, Your affectionate Friend

September 26, 1772

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Personal news and an upcoming book review you never knew you wanted me to review

I've been busy the past couple of weeks training for my first 5K race, which was this morning.  Although I didn't break my personal best due to the cooler temps and being unaccustomed to running uphill (I usually run on a relatively flat track, since it's been too damp for me to run on trails), I did finish 23rd overall and 3rd for men 40-49 (I think there were slightly over 100 runners) at 33:17 (I walked about 1.5K out of the 5 due to the somewhat steep hills).  Won a free meal at Arby's for placing third, plus I won a door prize.  Somehow, I don't see myself using the free 30 minute massage session, but oh well.

My next scheduled race is in two weeks and is a much bigger race, so if I finish in the top third again, I'll be ecstatic.  It has been a fun journey to this point.  A year ago at this point, I could barely walk 3.1 miles/5K within an hour due to being grossly out-of-shape and with a very overweight body made much worse by my August 2014 back injury that led me to gaining almost 50 pounds (or slightly over 20 kg).  A few days ago, I stepped on the scales and saw that I had lost 101 pounds since January 12, 2015.  I am now the lightest I have been since 2008 and hopefully by the end of the year, I'll be weighing less than what I did when I was in college.

However, all of this training and weight loss has taken a toll on my reading time.  I have only finished four books this year (granted, three of them are massive Library of America volumes that contain 3-4 novels' worth of writing inside), but I am hopeful that I'll have a new review ready by Easter weekend.  Even better, this is the sort of title that long-time readers (if such exist still!) of this blog will want me to review.  After all, look at this cover:


If that gorgeous cover (squirrel!) of Elizabeth McKenzie's The Portable Veblen doesn't mesmerize you enough into buying/reading it, then maybe Jeff VanderMeer's review of it, appearing in the Los Angeles Times, will convince you.  This is the book that my reading squirrels have been clamoring for me to have finished already, so hopefully I'll have the energy/time this weekend to finish reading it.  Such a good book so far.

Hopefully I'll be more regular in my blogging after my April 2nd race, but until then, you have a squirrel-centric novel review to look forward to.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day


Be sure to take the time today to appreciate one of nature's most engaging creatures.  Alas, I'll be spending most of the day again in bed, but I did at least get the chance to watch and appreciate one of the many fine squirrels on the property.  And yes, they are watching...

Saturday, December 06, 2014

So my parents are getting into the true Christmas spirit, I see


Yes, they have come to realize that a Christmas tree just really isn't a Christmas tree unless it has a squirrel in it.  And if you don't believe me, watch this:



Wednesday, October 22, 2014

It is always nice to see squirrels getting their due


A few people a week ago or so made me aware of this new comic series, Squarriors, but I forgot to blog about it until now.  So yes, there's yet one more reason to fear the squirrels :D

Friday, June 13, 2014

This happened while I was watching the Spain/Netherlands pre-game coverage


Yes, it seems that the World Cup does unite not just diverse people and nations, but also species of squirrels.  Something tells me that the fox squirrel to the right is a Dutch supporter, while the gray squirrel might be somewhat more inclined to support the Spanish side.  Or maybe they were just eying the food I'm cooking now...

Thursday, April 10, 2014

It is Squirrel Week over at the Washington Post

Staff writer John Kelly has been doing this for a few years now, so for those of you who are bemused by my occasional (frequent?) references to (rabid, reading) squirrels can see quite a few lovely pictures of nature's fiercest literary creatures at this link.

For those of you wanting something more substantive, such as reviews of recent and/or classic works, there might be a few written later tonight or this weekend, as I'm going to have a bit more time to write such things coming up shortly.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Today is William Shatner's birthday

This was a typical squirrel reaction to the news that William Shatner just celebrated his 83rd birthday on March 22, 2014:



Sunday, January 26, 2014

Ah, this brings back memories of Bush or Chimp....


There's just something about the squirrel to the right that makes me want to do this...

....tryin' to resist...

*does a funky Shatneresque dance*

...can't....

*contorts face*

KKKKKHHHHHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!! 

*sucks in air, quasi-sobbing*

Yes, squirrels make even Shatner better. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Today is Squirrel Appreciation Day


Yes, that most important day on the calendar has arrived yet once more.  Today is the day to celebrate the squirrels in your life.  Give them your nuts.  Hug them if they are so inclined as to receive one.  Adore them.  Thank them for checking the wiring around you in order to make sure that you do so lest it fail catastrophically.  Appreciate the sacrifices that they've made in order to bring a smile to your face (or the exercise involved in shaking your fist).

Hope you all have a blessed Squirrel Appreciation Day and maybe the rabid ones won't bite you...too much.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What the Birthday Squirrel bought for me in 2013


Another year has passed and as a whole new set of young squirrels ready themselves to leave their mothers' dreys to venture into the wider world, I become yet a bit older.  Today is my 39th and it finds me dealing with several issues that I think will be resolved favorably in the weeks and months to come.  But I have only 12 months to meet a couple of goals that I've had for years, so it'll be an interesting year.  But here are two books bought/ordered for this occasion that have already arrived:


Bought the Easton Press edition of Longfellow's poetry on Sunday with money my family sets aside for me to choose gifts (they rarely try to figure out what I want, leaving it up instead to myself) and on Tuesday, the English translation of 19th century Italian poet Giacomo Leopardi's Zibaldone (the name translates roughly as "Hodge-Podge" and it contains the poet/philosopher's thoughts on a wide range of issues) arrived in the mail.  Even despite a heavy discount (38%) on Amazon, it was still nearly $50.

The Leopardi is the largest single-volume print book in terms of page count that I've ever owned.  It is printed, however, on what I like to think of as "bible paper," or tissue-thin pages.  Below are pictures of it in comparison to the thickest book I own, Adolfo Bioy Casares' diary entries related to Borges, entitled Borges:


I don't have small hands (I wear XL gloves and those are almost too tight around the midpoint of the hands), but notice how big this book is in comparison.  It's around 3.5-4 inches in thickness.  By comparison, the Leopardi (which I did not take a picture holding) is around 2-2.5 inches in thickness.



The Borges book has pages of typical hardcover thickness.  Pictured above is the last page, 1663.  It is a very big book, but it appears even more so because special paper was not used to make it less thick.



But here is the last page of Zibaldone.  2502 pages (not counting roughly 80 pages of intro that bear roman numerals).  The thinner paper makes it easier to hold, yet so far there is no sense of the pages being less difficult to read (a similar paper quality can be found inside the Library of America editions of American writings).

Should take me a few weeks of leisurely reading to complete these two books that the squirrels have seen fit for me to now possess.  Now to get ready to deal with the less enjoyable aspects of turning a year older...including working later due to having already exhausted vacation days last week.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

I just finished the longest (e-)book I've ever read

Back in early April, I thought I would try to improve my French by reading some of Voltaire's works, so I went to the iBookstore and found that his Oeuvres Complètes was available for something like $3.  I bought it, thinking that at most it would be a little over 1000 pages.  Little did I know that on my iPad's screen with a small font that it would be 15,209 pages (on my iPhone 5, it was an even gaudier 40,377 pages).

I thought that I would make a reading goal of finishing it before my birthday this month, so that I would have plenty of time to read it at my leisure, but then a series of things occurred that led to me putting it off.  By July 1, I was only something like 4500 e-pages into it and that I would have to read nearly 1000 pages/day-night in order to finish it.  Yes, I can read very fast in English, but my reading in other languages varies according to comprehension.  At first, I was reading French at around 100 e-pages/hour, but as I progressed, not stopping to look up individual words but instead getting their jist from those that I did understand, I found myself reading faster and faster and understanding more and more.  I tore through the histories in a couple of days, marveling at how relatively underrated they are in context of the historiography of the 17th-18th centuries.  While I wouldn't say that I am now reading fluent in French, my comprehension certainly has improved greatly.

So by tonight, I only had a couple hundred pages left to read and those were all correspondence letters that had been preserved, so they were a bit easier due to the less formal structure of the sentences.  At 10:01 PM CDT, I reached page 15,209 and thought about shouting "Victory is mine!," but I instead settled for this comment on Twitter in response to being praised for reaching my goal:




Yes, my reading squirrels are exhausted now.  But I did it with 49 hours and 58 minutes to spare.  Sadly, I will not finish St. Thomas of Aquinas' Summa Theologiae in time, but those 7000+ pages (in translation, since I've yet to find a complete Latin e-text) will be finished before year's end.

Friday, July 05, 2013

A squirrely salute to the day



Parents bought me this squirrel finger puppet during their recent trip out west.  Yes, I had to put the squirrel on that finger in order to take a good picture of it (looks quite vicious, doesn't it?).  And yes, Johnny Cash's famous "salute" would have looked even better if he had had a squirrel puppet on that finger.  After all, squirrels do make everything better...

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Be afraid, be very, very afraid!


Apparently this is an actual movie.  I think it should be the early favorite to win an Oscar next year, duh.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

I see Rover from Red and Rover is a smart dog


This was from today's comics (my mother pointed this out to me; I'm not a regular comic strip reader anymore).  And yes, you better be looking to the skies.

Monday, January 21, 2013

A poem read aloud in honor of Squirrel Appreciation Day


For those who may want to hear my rousing rendition of a squirrel poem I found online as a means of getting you in the proper mood for celebrating Squirrel Appreciation Day, here you go.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Best of 2012: Squirrel Commercials

The past two years have seen a resurgence in squirrel-related commercials, as advertisers have realized the potent marketing potential of our sovereign rodents.  Below is the retroactive Best of 2011 squirrel commercial and the one that perhaps might be 2012's best.  Enjoy!


2011's best squirrel-related commercial:





And now the Best of 2012 in Squirrel commercials:

Feel free to submit your own 2012-released squirrel-related commercials as alternates.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

What Santa Squirrel Brought for Me in 2012


After years of teasing my mom about how she would make everyone but me a quilt, pillow, etc., she surprised me last night (we have a tradition of exchanging gifts on Christmas Eve, as we travel Christmas Day to visit relatives on my mom's side of the family) with this quilt that she made for me.  Certainly the best Squirrelmas gift I have ever received.

In addition, I received $80 in iTunes cards, $150 in cash, and some clothes, so it has been good on that end (not that I get too enthused about gifts these days, with the notable exception above).  Going to buy some e-books and music with the gift cards shortly.  

What did you get for Christmas/Squirrelmas?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Since the End is nigh tomorrow or something...


Here is my attempt to appease the wrathful squirrel gods.  By offering them a sugary-sweet and yet nutty cookie representation of them, likely to be left under oak trees just before dawn on the winter solstice, it is my hope that this will avert catastrophic danger...

OK, not really, but for a few of you, seeing Christmas Squirrel cookies (with cashews) might be amusing, no?  And for those who refuse to be amused, I leave you with this warning:



Thursday, October 04, 2012

Yes, it seems that Steven Erikson might be a Squirrelist

I have had my suspicions about him before, seeing references to a mage in the third novel, Memories of Ice, unleashing an attack of angry ground squirrels when he opened his warren, not to mention other references in the seventh novel, Reaper's Gale (and an undead squirrel in the novella The Lees of Laughter's End), but this scene from the novella The Healthy Dead cinches it for me:

He sat on the front step of his modest, friendless abode, watching a squirrel twitch confusedly at the base of a tree.  It had been busy for weeks storing various things in anticipation of the winter to come.  Curiously, it seemed such rodents despised company.  Loneliness was their desired state.  This is what came, he concluded morosely, of eating nuts and seeds.

The creature's present confusion had no outwardly apparent cause, suggesting to Imid that the source of its troubles came from within, a particular cavort of agitation in its tiny brain.  Perhaps it was experiencing an ethical crisis, making it jump about so in chittering rage.

All the fault of that damned manservant, Imid told himself.  Mulled wine and rustleaf and durhang, a veritable cornucopia of forbidden substances, and his indifferent aplomb in the consumption of those items had taken Imid's breath away.  Cruel as a squirrel, he'd been.  Driving the Saint of Glorious Labour to distraction, and worse...thoughts of violence.

Yes, rage and violence, those are the hallmarks of squirrels and their cruelty seems to strike some semblance of fear (OK, agitation) in the thoughts of Imid.  Nice to see that Erikson recognizes these wondrous squirrelly qualities, no?
 
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