Sometimes, I wonder at what publishers think would be enticing cover art for the likes of me

If this isn't a candidate for Good Show, Sir, then I don't know what would be....

What I see, what some others see, and what still others see

R.A. Salvatore, The Crystal Shard

What some see:  A familiar D&D adventure, with a barbarian, dwarf, and drow trio ready to embark on adventure.

What some others see:  Yet another example of poor '80s cover art.

What I see:  What the hell is a wolf head doing on that dude's chest?

What publishers saw:  A fitting D&D adventure cover that should let D&D fans know that there's yet another tie-in novel to buy.

Jon Sprunk, Shadow's Son

What some see:  An assassin!  Must mean some adventure is involved!

What others see:  Ugh.  Another hooded dude.  Dime a dozen.

What I see:  What in the world is that greenish-ghosty woman doing and why does she have that silly look on her face?

What publishers see:  If they liked Author X's tale of hooded assassin-mage, then they'll be drawn to this one.

Lauren Kate, Fallen

What some see:  Hey, this looks just like a Twilight novel!  I bet there's a touching love story inside!

What others see:  Hey, this looks just like a Twilight novel!  I bet it sucks werewolf man-teats!

What I see:  How come she's crying instead of holding some apple, pomegranate, or other sappy fruit?

What publishers see: $$$

Brian Evenson, Altmann's Tongue

What some see:  What a boring cover!  Why isn't there a catchy cover?

What others see:  Hey, this understated cover might mean that there's some good writing inside!

What I see:  It's Brian Evenson, one of the few authors I buy sight-unseen, or close to it.

What publishers see:  It's for those who think the covers above suck, so maybe we'll see through the first printing someday.

John Norman, Hunters of Gor

What some see:  OMG!  NIPPLES! *moment of squeeing*  Gotta read this! *faps*

What others see:  The hell?  Who lets this misogynistic crap be published?

What I see:  The cover is offensive, yes, but what sort of face is that dude making?  He looks like a Robin Hood/faux-samurai cosplay idiot who is dragging his blow-up doll through a misty swamp.

What publishers see:  Well, we know it's cheesy, if not downright offensive, but believe it or not, there are some horndogs out there that buy this crap.

Yoko Ogawa, The Housekeeper and the Professor

What some see:  Cherry blossoms?  Must be chick-lit, yuck.

What others see:  Hrmm...interesting.  Blossoms and math symbols?  Could be good, I suppose.

What I see:  Intriguing mix of images, plus the Paul Auster quote is intriguing.

What publishers see:  It's for the smart set.  It will all depend on which of the bon ton read it if it's going to sell well.

Rabid Squirrel, Paradise Lost

What some see:  Stupid squirrel.  I wonder what'll happen if I throw nuts at it? *is then bitten and infected with rabies*

What others see:  Aw!  A squirrel!  It's so cute!  I wonder if it'll take a nut from my hand? *is then bitten and infected with rabies*

What I see:  Spies sent to make sure that I am being well-behaved.  *leaves them nuts, then manages to escape contracting rabies for a while longer*

What publishers see:  Dammit!  I guess we should have published their manuscript translation of Paradise Lost, shouldn't we?  *barricades set up in a futile hope to avoid the pending squirrelpocalypse*

Which is worse between these two covers?

When I saw the first cover from May 1985, I thought "No way they could be more stupid and sexist in a single cover art image."  Then I saw the August 1985 issue.  I was wrong.  Very wrong.  Let's see what we have here:  a blue naked woman with a bow-like object covering her most private parts standing on a very fat bearded man with moobs.  As if that weren't bad enough, look at where the other woman is in this picture.

Sigh...with covers like this, no wonder American SF has often been relegated to the nerd bins of history.  Comments?

1980s SF Magazine Cover Art, Part I

Over the next few days/weeks, I'm going to be posting images of old SF magazines that my grandmother saved before her death back in November. I'm trying my best to remove the subscription labels, but remnants will appear in the photos. Some of these images are truly WTF? quality. Enjoy.

What could go better than racist and sexist cover art?  Ironic considering who appears in each issue.

Dinosaur SF...WTW or WTF?

More weird images.  Looks like dragons have a soft, downy side.

Run, Forrest, Run!  Those floating orbs are after you!

Assassin's Creed:  Africa?

Space-granny tells her grandson:  "This is what you get when you're out in the sun too long without proper hydration."

A preview of old SF magazine cover art and two 80s-era covers

Just a few more items that I inherited (I have a few dozen of the various SF magazines she subscribed to over the 1960s-1980s that I'll post in the coming days, once I remove the labels the best I can), but I have to say that this Asimov's cover is very, very disturbing.  I wonder why...

More cover art to delight and fright you

Here are some books that I have bought or received over the past half-week. Some have excellent cover art, while others are trashy. Which ones do you like and which do you disdain?

The Persian edition of Sadegh Hedayat's The Blind Owl and a bilingual Arabic/English edition of Adonis' collection.

Two new books.  The first is an Edgar Rice Burroughs anthology and the other is Saladin Ahmed's debut novel.

New Mark Hodder and a reprint by Tachyon of a 2009 de Lint novel.

Ben Marcus' just released novel and a famous book by the 1951 Nobel Literature laureate.

Two French editions of Sartre and Molière.

There's a couple of jokes can could be made here.  Make them.

ARC cover for the new Kress and a really crappy cover for Tolkien's poem translations.

Very 70s to me.

Also a 70s cover, but uh...

Finally got my hands on a print edition of The Weird

Recognize the translator?

Ballantine Adult Fantasy covers, Part II

And here's part II. Hope these cover art images do not scar you for life.

Trippy.  It's like a slinky man inside of the woman while a butterfly and a unicorn are inside of another.

I've always wondered why giant birds prefer virginal women.  Can someone explain this to me?

I think someone was on acid when designing that attire for that woman in the corner.  Oh, and there's a definite bird fetish going on in these covers.

It's a stairway to heaven and I think the spider is taking it.  The wizard can't seem to decide between the sea serpent and the ship. 

Goes to show that the misappropriation of non-Western motifs can be a very, very, very bad idea.  Almost as bad as the butterfly dude on the second cover.

Giant cobra temple/queen or flame-breathing swan:  can't decide which is more frightening to contemplate.

Didn't know horses like to eat peacock shrubs.  Or maybe those are just the dude to the right on the first cover's camouflaged brethren?

Oily sea serpents and fish with wings...okay, was LSD really that good back in the 60s and early 70s?

Yes, next time you want crab meat, remember that they too are the spawn of Cthulhu. 

There's a battle raging, but what the hell is up with the hog?

Ballantine Adult Fantasy covers, Part I

I was asked several days ago if I would ever post the Ballantine Adult Fantasy covers I have, after mentioning that I had several on Westeros. Although I think I posted most of these before at some point, I thought I'd post them in two parts, with a few captions added this time. Enjoy?

Nothing says the '60s like women wearing a flowing rainbow, unless one likes the Land'o'Lakes princess looking at her reflection.

There's a fight...to decipher why these colors were chosen.

Eve:  Butterfly Princess?  And let's not try to think about the second cover much.

I guess battling sea serpents brings all the little people to the yard.

The first cover takes "gravity defying" to a whole new level.  The second just makes me want to sing "London Bridge."

There be gnomes!  And now featuring the worst phallic image I've ever seen on a book cover.

I think the unicorn has more scales than the giant snake.  Some gardens just are weirder than others.

If you stare at it long enough, it might make sense.  Or you might go blind.  Your choice.

A Gloriously Awful Cover Art Caption Contest

Earlier today, I went to my grandmother's house to sort through her book collection in preparation for selling the unwanted books in an estate sale later this month. While I was going through the 700-800 books that she owned, I selected 12 books to keep per family agreement. Most of these are SF/Fantasy books from the 1960s, including four Ace Double and while some of the authors are well-renowned today, I was struck by how strange and often cheesy much of the cover art was.  Although I am no Good Show, Sir, I thought it might be fun to post images of each book (even the non-horrid ones) and allow readers to write the funniest, wittiest, most damning comments on the covers that they can.  So without further ado, fourteen images of sixteen covers on twelve books (yes, that really is what I said).  Enjoy?