First, I learned the Brandon Sanderson, author of the popular Mistborn trilogy of novels and recently signed to complete the late Robert Jordan's bestselling The Wheel of Time series, has a new book coming out in early 2009 that will serve as a bridge between the final Mistborn novel, The Hero of Ages and the final WoT novel, A Memory of Light.
Tentatively called The Way of Kings, this book has already generated a lot of attention on Amazon, where apparently the cover art and a brief synopsis have been leaked by some of Sanderson's fans, those who seemingly have been privy to what sounds to be an outstanding novel. Below are some of the readers' comments about this novel:
...No matter your race, nationality, gender, sexual orientation or belief system, you will find something to love in "The Way of Kings". There were pirates, ninjas, monkeys, fireworks, grand journeys, infidels dragged through streets by dragons and a fair amount of buckles swashed. There were ladies romanced, men romanced, sheep romanced and one scene where even two mice get it on. And if you can forgive an inordinate amount of abuse aimed at Canadians, this just may be the book for you. Be forewarned, however, if you can't abide graphic depictions of sexual content that would make Laurell K. Hamilton blush and cover her naughty bits, you might want to skip this book...More on this as I learn more from Sanderson and his editor at Tor, Moshe Feder.
...The way Brandon Sanderson breathes life into this story is inspirational. The characters, the storyline, the magic -- seemingly woven (as only Brandon can) from sheer nothingness. One of my favorite parts of the book is where the Wizard Ooflar divides one rather simple system of magic into five complex subsets, each with its own arcane history and labyrinthine steps. Who would have thought the apprentice Pemberly could put an entire village to sleep by tapping out a quadrille in her clogs? Although it would seem implausible, somehow his magical system works, especially the dance-off. I also enjoyed the ten-day feast in section two, chapter 85. I don't know if I'll ever forget the scene in which we see King Horag the Midleth eating live grunthyean orbs. (gag) I loved this book and can't wait for the sequel...
The second rumored book release is a movie novelization, the first in a series of tie-in action-adventure/fantasy books based on the wildly popular Suburban Commando movie. Starring the immortal Hulk Hogan, the film garnered all sorts of critical commentary and due to its now-iconic status, the movie's producer, Terry "Thunderlips" Bollea, has decided that the timing is right to make the jump into the tie-in fantasy novel world. Here are a few words from Mr. Bollea:
Let me tell ya something, brutha! When the Hulkster started out in those tiny gyms, pumpin' that iron, sayin' the prayers, and poppin' those vitamins, he had a dream. For years as he traveled around the country, cuppin' his ear and basking in the glory of his millions of ragin' Hulkamaniacs, he felt as though there was a bit of electricity missin'. Even when the 7'5 Andre the Giant himself was picked up as the Hulkamaniacs prayed their li'l hearts out, willin' the Hulkster on to press slamming that 500 lb. monster over his head and slammin' him to the mat, even then the Hulkster was lackin' something.Although no publisher has yet to be confirmed, it is believed that Hogan's old nemesis, The Ultimate Warrior, will be receiving the first galley for review purposes.
But one day, like a bolt from the sky, while on the set of Suburban Commando, it came down and struck with the force of 10,000 screamin' Hulkamaniacs. This movie contained the way, brutha, the way! Here was where I, the Hulkster, he of the 24" pythons, could make a difference in the lives of the millions of Hulkamaniacs out there! It was like a vision from Above. Pearly gates, string music, even a bit of angelic singin' burst out. A book, a book based on what might just be the greatest obscure movie of all time! I contacted my agent, who put me in touch with one of the best in the biz, Harry Sachs, and we begin to work on writing the defining tie-in novel series, one that will serve as inspiration to all of my Hulkamaniacs out there.
8 comments:
**LOL**
Awesome! I'm sure Brandon will love doing chapter annotations on this one.
LOL!!
Yeah, I thought that bit from a few months ago was too precious not to use for AFD. Glad you enjoyed it :D
Well played, sir. You had me at "Hulkster".
Well, if you enjoyed that, be sure to visit that Ultimate Warrior page and read his rants. Pure unintentional comedic gold, those.
Someone will have to write the crossover fanfic, you know.
I think Elvis would win in a fight between Hulk Hogan and Elvis.
Elvis grew up in the mean streets of ancient Memphis, Egypt and knows karate from the Old Kings of Cairo.
Hulk defeats his shirts, and his sense of shame, and very little else.
Elvis wins.
I don't know...I believe the Hulkster may have mastered the arts of the Jedi and he might be adept at using the Force (and the big boot/legdrop combo) to force a truly epic Mortal Kombat clash between them.
But I wonder what Elvis's finishing move would be? A porkchop to the brainpan? I'm waiting for you to supply the backstory here.
Ah, "Suburban Commando!" That takes me back. And there is indeed nothing quite like an Ultimate Warrior rant. (Except, perhaps, the tragically short-lived Ultimate Warrior comic book.)
Every now and then, I get this urge to post Warrior rants at various sites, to see who would react to them. Anyone that makes a verb of "queering" has to be living in a (dangerous) fantasy world, no?
I bet he'd make a great replacement for John Norman writing the Gor series.
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