Thursday, June 24, 2010
I was very busy yesterday and away from my computer most of the time, so I didn't have the time to do the writeup on the actual day. But here is what I would have written, regardless of now knowing the outcomes of the actual sporting matches:
England versus Slovenia - On paper, this would be a huge mismatch, with the legendary English literary side competing against a young, small nation whose more famous writers have tended to be associated with the Habsburg Empire than with an independent Slovene nation. But English is reeling after its draw with the US and its clash with the Algerian-French import Albert Camus, so it has been decided that the English will use their most famous writer, William Shakespeare, to crack the rugged Lacanian defense of Slovenia and its star, Slavoj Žižek.
Prediction: Shakespeare bursts out his "To be, or not to be," which gets Žižek all hot and bothered to the point that the English strike quickly, before resorting to their usual thumb stuck up their bum "offense" for the rest of the way.
United States versus Algeria - This was shaping up to be a monumental mismatch until the Algerians were permitted to claim Albert Camus, who was, after all born in what became Algeria, from the French on a loan after Camus and Sartre could not agree on anything. Les Fennecs aim to replicate the tactics of the original vulpine and the German general who are also known as Desert Foxes. The Americans counter with one of their greatest writers, the late, great Southern writer William Faulkner:
Prediction: Camus's excellent prose defense stymies the Americans until near the very end, when after William Penn Warren has set up a cross for Flannery O'Connor that deflect off Camus's hands, Faulkner follows through with the Dead Mule Kick to win the match and to send the American side onto the Knockout Stage.
Germany versus Ghana - With a victory, the Germans would avoid having to face the resilient American literary side in the first Knockout stage, instead preferring to face the divided English side. For Ghana, unlike their sports side, which has much to gain, their literary side is playing for pride and for the opportunity to show just how good African literature can be when the global spotlight is on it. The Germans, despite having to worry about Serbia claiming the top sport if they were to somehow upset in this match, have decided to go "simple," so they have trotted out from the musty depths of their deep bench the 17th century author of Simplicius Simplicissimus, Hans Jakob Christoffel von Grimmelshausen. The Black Stars of Ghana counter with playright Ama Ata Aidoo:
Prediction: The match ends up involving 22 writers, poets, and playwrights running all across the pitch and after 90 minutes, the Germans win.
Serbia versus Australia - Ignore the surprising sports result, for the literary tilt here may be a beauty for those who want to be exposed to smashing literary action that runs the gamut of styles and genres. The Serb side is captained for this match by Milorad Pavić, while the Sockaroos of Australia are led by Peter Carey:
Prediction: After a long, exciting match, the Serb side is just too much for the Aussies, with a late goal from Pavić sealing the Sockaroos' fate.